A Call for Balance in Age-Integration

Balance is such a precious commodity. Sadly it seems to be in short supply among Bible-believing Christians. Being a Biblical Christian doesn't mean polarizing and going to extremes and thinking you are right and everyone else is wrong - that engenders pride, not the gentleness and humility of Jesus. We see it today on all fronts in our attitudes and conversations about things that we prefer. Popular battle grounds for many writers and families today are: what people choose for schooling options (public, home or private), what people think about youth groups at churches (are they good or bad?) and who they think should be present in worship services (all ages or no kids?). Basically, the question is one of just how age-integrated or age-segregated a church should be.

Sometimes it is easy to take everything our favorite preacher or author says hook, line and sinker; forgetting that even the best of people do not have an absolute corner on the truth. We are all prone to error. Only God and His Word are infallible. Are we following men or are we following Jesus? Paul spoke of this in 1 Cor. 3:1 "And I brethren, could not speak to you as spiritual men, but as to men of flesh, as infants in Christ." and verse 4, "For when one says 'I am of Paul,' and another, 'I am of Apollos,' are you not mere men?" But it seems to me that on many levels in the church today people want to follow men more than the one mediator between God and men, the Man, Christ Jesus.

I often find myself disagreeing with those that I agree with philosophically as it relates to the extreme edges of their practical applications. Some writers have some really good foundational thoughts, but they fall prey to the "we've got it right and everyone else has it wrong" polarization by making sweeping comments not clearly substantiated in Scripture. Sweeping statements don't help. Some say, "if you send your kids to public school you are sinning", others that "if you don't send your kids to public school you are weird and isolationist". Some say, "every Christian needs to home school", others say "I would never hang around those kind of people". Some say "children should always be included in worship", others that "children should not be included in worship". Some say, "youth groups are detrimental", others that "youth groups are beneficial". These often serve to polarize rather than bringing the body of Christ together. Why am I saying all of this? Because the Bible doesn't specify the exact application of age-segregated or age-integrated principles in the church. The Gospel reaches into every culture and while its effects are the same the look is not always the same. That is why Christianity should look different in Africa than it does in America - because they are different cultures. And within each culture and sub-culture there is room for different preferences.

I think there is a place for balanced views (though I admit that it is tougher to achieve and won't sell as many books). Right now 3 of our kids are home-schooled and 2 are in private school, but I happen to believe there are very good and very bad examples of all schooling options - home, public and private; and that each Christian family needs to do what God directs them to do. My kids have been in public, private and home school and all three have been positive experiences that God has used for His glory. I am someone who firmly believes I am the primary teacher, discipler and shepherd of my household; that God has given me the role of leading my family spiritually; it is my prayer that every Christian family take this seriously and among other things observe daily family worship times in the Word and prayer. At the same time I think that there is a good and healthy place for children's and youth ministry in the church; some of our basic assumptions and practices need to be reformed but God can and does use these ministries for His glory. I think all ages should worship together in church but I am not 'against' children's church. I prefer all ages to be in the worship service and not segregate children out because I want all ages to have the opportunity to worship the King of kings and Lord of lords with the gathered body of believers and I believe children learn best by their parent's example. Basically, I am firmly committed to age-integration but don't think that every single ministry of the church has to be completely age-integrated. I do not think my views are the only option, though I am passionate about them for what I believe to be good, Biblical reasons.

I think each local church needs to find a balance because I believe the Word of God portrays a balance of generational faithfulness in families (the faith being passed on and taught daily from parents to children) as well as members of the body of Christ coming alongside to teach and mentor (Titus 2 model, older teaching younger). For far too long the pendulum has swung in the direction of age-segregation in the church but that does not warrant a corresponding swing to another extreme. Extremes hinder the God-ordained connectedness in the body of Christ that He intends. It is all too easy to give our personal preferences and assumptions doctrinal status. Or use proof-texting to make the Bible say what we want it to say. I think we need to listen to Jesus and what He says to the church in His Word. Let the Scriptures speak and let God's people respond. And I think we need to listen to one another, encouraging one another, "and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, not forsaking our own assembling together, but encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near." (Heb. 10:24-25) That is the crux of the matter; Jesus is coming back and we need to get ready.